Family Circle Cookbook: Great Meals In One Dish! :(

I was cleaning out an old bookshelf and I found this great cookbook from 1985. I guess American cuisine has come a long way. Warning! Pretty much every recipe incorporates boiled eggs, tuna and/or tomato sauce!

I wish there were pictures like this Weight Watchers Cookbook from 1974, but there are some great recipe titles:

  • Yogurt Soup With Meatballs - Not only does this break Jewish dietary restrictions, it breaks the laws of nature. Yogurt and meat, like dark and light matter, should not come within contact of one another. Spontaneous combustion will occur in your stomach.
  • Cornucopia Salad Platter - The recipe asks for hot dog relish, bologna and hard boiled eggs. Why?
  • Swiss Gypsy Salad - I didn't realize there were Swiss gypsies (I looked it up). This dish is probably why they are all dead (that and the Nazis). Ingredients ask for Swiss cheese, salami, French dressing, anchovy, potatoes, and of course, boiled eggs.
  • Neptune Spaghetti - "A can of tuna makes this delightfully different tomato sauce for spaghetti." No it doesn't. All I can think of is a Hobo cooking it over a trash can fire.
  • Oyster Loaf - Nothing with the word "loaf" in it inspires confidence.
  • Spaghetti With Tuna-Tomato Sauce - Again with the tuna and pasta! "A colorful and inexpensive entree for an impromptu meal". How is this colorful? Smell, not sight, would the crowd-dazzler in this dish.
  • Liver in Tomato Sauce - Stop putting stuff that doesn't belong in tomato sauce! I'm warning you!
  • HotchPotch - The title of this dish only reminds me of the word "crotch". Say it with me, "Hotch, Potch, Crotch". Now faster, "HotchPotchCrotch".
  • Giant Brunswick Stew - The city of Brunswick, NJ is a huge dump which is exactly what you will take after eating this stew.  "Get me the plunger! This Brunswick is giant!"

In addition to these wonderful dishes, the book contains some money saving tips!

  • "Don't throw away leftover cheese after a party. Save even the tiniest wedge, grate it, and freeze it in an airtight plastic bag." Gross. I don't really want cheese that a bunch of your trailer park friends have palmed over.
  • "Save those snack food tag-ends. Crush the last pretzels, potato chips or crackers and use as a casserole topping." Dude! This Ranch Dorrito, Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles, and Spicy Pork Rind casserole rocks!
  • "Save the oil from cans of tuna, sardines and anchovies to use in cooking and salad dressings." It gives your salads that extra metallic flavor the kids love.