When new technology isn't so great: Straw wrappers

Remember when you could tear the end off one side of your straw wrapper and shoot it right into the eye of your friend? Well, recently I've noticed that you can't do that anymore. The straw wrappers are so tight that you would need a air compressor to shoot out someone's eye. I don't know if this is because of the "Safety Nazis" or the machinery has become too efficiency. Either way, it stinks. Now what can I pass along to my son and daughter? I've already done the "Diarrhea Song" and making farting sounds. How will the valuable knowledge of the Bliss legacy be passed on to future generations?