Gotta get back in time

OK. I know this sounds crazy, but when driving home from work the question of "What would I do if I was sent back in time?" goes through my head all the time. When I say "back in time", I mean like a few hundred years, not like dinosaur times. Here are some questions that pass through my adolescent, sci-fi obsessed brain. Could I bring stuff with me? If yes, what? Chemistry books? Weapons?  like Ash in The Army of Darkness . Maybe I shouldn't use a cult comedy-horror movie as a guide. How about a history book? Nah. I could screw up the space-time continuum like in Back to the Future II. Damn you Hollywood.

Would I be wearing the same clothes as today? If people saw me, they might lock me up with all my futuristic footwear (aka Adidas) and fancy zippers (patented in 1851). People thought Michael J. Fox's puffy vest was a life preserver.  Also would I be able to communicate with the past people assuming they spoke English? There so much slang in language that I might have a difficult time. Check out this excerpt from an 18th Century British-America book titled The American Your Man's beft Companion:

"Before we enter upon Aritbmetick, it may be proper to give fome Examples of Letter on various Subjects, and upon divers Occafions; which Letter frequenctly read over, and fome Times copied."

Dude stop jerkin' my chain and like tell me the 411! Word to my mother!

Would I be able to even make a living back then? I sit in a office and work on a computer all day hence I am probably much, much weaker than your average human in the, lets say, 1751.  What skills could I bring to the table? Not much. I can read and write which is a leg up, but other than that what could I do?

"Dear Sir or Lord, would thoust be in need of a redesign of your interwebs (really old British term for web site)? I happened to notice your current one was carved in stone. Not at all becoming to an esteemed gentleman such as yourself."

Or would I just die within weeks due to some horrible disease? The plague? Yellow fever? A tooth ache? I think this is the most likely outcome. But what if I took some antibiotics? So many questions, so many scenarios.

Here's a poster that could help. Just pin it in your time machine.