New and improved Zodiac signs

Someone ask me the other day what my Zodiac sign was and I reluctantly said "Aquarius". Why did I hesitate? Because Aquarius is the weakest of the symbols. Other people get cool stuff like bulls, lions and scorpions. What do I get? Essentially, a water boy and a really bad show tune "Dawn of the Age of Aquarius". So as my birthday approaches, I decided to change the entire Zodiac wheel and replace "the water bearer" for Destro from GI Joe. No more fetching water for the other signs! Now I wear a mask forged from Beryllium Steel and create conflict in order to sell weapons.

Destro

Destro Stats (January 20 - February 18)

Strengths:

  • Strong sense of honor
  • Calm demeanor
  • A head for business

Weakness:

  • The Baroness
  • Rust
  • Inability to shoot and actually hit a member of GI Joe

You are compatible with:

  • COVERGIRL (Hot!)
  • LADYJANE (Hotter!!)

You are incompatible with:

  • FLINT (Such an ass kisser)
  • SERPENTOR (Wannabe Cobra Commander)
  • BARONESS (It's a love hate thing)
  • DEEP SIX (Dude lives in a bubble)

New Zodiac Chart

  • GI JOE (Aries: March 21 - April 19)
  • COBRA COMMANDER (Taurus: April 20 - May 20)
  • COVERGIRL (Gemini: May 21 - June 20)
  • SERPENTOR (Cancer: June 21 - July 22)
  • ZARTAN (Leo: July 23 - August 22)
  • BARONESS (Virgo: August 23 - September 22)
  • LADY JANE (Libra: September 23 - October 22)
  • PYTHONA (Scorpio: October 23 - November 21)
  • SNOW JOB (Sagittarius: November 22 - December 21)
  • FLINT (Capricorn: December 22 - January 19)
  • DESTRO (Aquarius: January 20 - February 18)
  • DEEP SIX (Pisces: February 19 - March 20)