UI designer needed for major publication

A co-worker was showing me the front page of a major newspaper in Pakistan. Looking at it made me go into a seizure. Rarely do you encounter this kind of advertising anymore in the US. I don't even know where the actual news is on this page?

So if you are feelin' blue and think you are a complete hack, just graze upon this and smile. Web design has come along way...and Pakistan is in desparate need of a UI designer.